Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Let’s Hope This Guy Dies Soon


This article is sort of in the spirit of my fired up sleepless master (EvilBeet) but I believe in it too. The news is that Jack Valenti had a stroke on Monday and is in the hospital in Baltimore.

You don’t know who Jack is, but he founded the MPAA, the moral police watchdog group that ensures nothing subversive ever touches your pretty little mind. They set the ratings for all American movies that are actually released in theaters and they do so in an arbitrary and unfair manner. They hate sex, but are okay with violence. What a message for the kiddies! Gay stuff? Drugs? Heck no, we can make sure the kids all grow up not even KNOWING curse words! What a fucker. So while he may look like a kindly old grandpa he’s single handedly destroyed the past two decades of cinema. Where we used to get cool shit like Midnight Cowboy we now get Norbit. This guy sucks hard. Godspeed Jack.