Today's Evil Beet Gossip

For the Last Time: No One is Taking Britney’s Kids Away from Her Because She Makes out with Chicks

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Or because she flashes her cooter or dresses in skimpy clothes or goes to nightclubs. I’m sorry, America, but that’s just not how it works. The kids are fed, they are warm, they have clothes, they have adult supervision, and no one is beating them up, and I assure you that Los Angeles Children and Family Services are going to deal with all the families who don’t meet one or more of those criteria before they show up to take Britney’s kids away, and that’s gonna take them at least the next year or twenty.

I guess there are new nudy pics of Britney from that night she was traipsing around some NYC nightclub, bonding with the go-go dancers. Everyone’s bidding on them right now (bidding’s at around $150K). But there’s also a tape, caught by security cameras, of Brit-Brit and some of those dancers engaging in a little more hard-core partying (it’s not clear from the article whether we’re talking drugs or sex or both). “If that thing goes on the Internet, there’s going to be big trouble. It might be what they need to take [Spears’] kids away from her,” says a source. Ugh. Once again: might Kevin win at least partial custody of the kids in a custody battle because he’s their father and he can take care of them? Yeah, maybe. But no one is going to come a-knockin’ on Britney’s door like, “Hey, remember how you ate out that go-go dancer in New York a few months back? It’s on tape. Yeah, we can’t have you doing that and raising kids at the same time. Mm-kay?” Not gonna happen, people.