Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lane Garrison Charged with Manslaughter


I honestly don’t even remember what show this kid was on anymore. Oz? Prison Break? Kids Incorporated? It was something. Anyway, he got drunk with a bunch of teenagers sometime in December, piled the whole lot of them in his car, and drove one of them off into eternity. And then his lawyer was all like “Oh no he wasn’t drunk at all,” and then the whole entire world was like “Bullshit” and then it turned out he used to live with the God-fearing Simpsons as a teenager (I mean Joe and Jessica and Ashlee, not Homer and Lisa and Bart) and then eventually Brandy killed some married mother on the 405 and then Anna Nicole died and then Britney shaved her head and went to rehab and left rehab and went to rehab and then Jennifer Hudson won an Oscar and Anna Nicole was buried and … maybe he was on The Bachelor?

Anyway, they’re charging him with felony vehicular manslaughter, but they’re not alleging gross negligence. He’ll do a maximum of six years in prison. He’s planning to surrender to the court voluntarily this afternoon.

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