Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Free Coffee You Fiends!

Pleasing. That’s the only way to describe this.

Starbucks is handing out coffee for nothing after years of overcharging for highly addictive substances. I adore Starbucks. They give health insurance to employees and their coffee packs more caffeine per punch. Those two things are pleasing too. The free coffee dealie goes down March 15th from 10am to noon.

Now for the bad news. Every huckster and scrub within 1000 miles will descend upon my sanctuary which will make the lines long. This will cause me to buy a pastry, as a coping mechanism, which will defeat the purpose of the whole exercise.

Starbucks, you are a most worthy adversary.

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