Beverly Hills police yesterday released more details on Prison Break star Lane Garrison’s car wreck in December, which killed a 17-year-old boy. To the surprise of absolutely no one, Garrison’s blood alcohol content was at least .16%, and he’d also been doing lines of cocaine before he got behind the wheel. He’ll be charged with DUI, and likely with felony DUI. The police also recommended that Garrison be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

I’ll tell ya, this guy is Brandy’s best friend right now. Nothing distracts from your totally sober, momentarily distracted, life-claiming wreck on the 405 like a coke-snortin’, Grey-Goose-shootin’, underage-girl-totin’ life-claiming wreck in Beverly Hills. She should write him a thank-you note when he’s in jail.

Alright, alright. The new guy over at MollyGood earned his stripes today with this headline on Isaiah Washington’s return from Gayhab. I don’t know who you used to be, Cord, but you’re one of us now. And, just for kicks, I tracked down the headline that made me fall in love with Molly in the first place.

I’ll start posting gossip at some point today, guys, I promise. Having trouble focusing. Not sure why. Well, maybe I have some idea.

In the meantime, rewatch the clips from the Sarah Silverman Program and GET FUCKING PUMPED!!!

If you’re wondering where Lindsay Lohan acquired her penchant for rambling, nonsensical epistolaries, look no further than her father’s most recent jailhouse opus. [Pop on the Pop]

Aw, Danny Tanner can still make his little girls smile. [Agent Bedhead]

Turns out Courtney Love can stay sober and plant absurd rumors about how she’s being considered as a judge for American Idol and categorically deny them, all at the same time! Yet, basic spelling continues to elude her. [Defamer]

Tara Conner’s no stranger to any type of blow. [ICYDK]

I hadn’t heard of Lily Allen until sometime last week, but this girl’s getting really famous really fast. [popbytes]

The gossip and sports blogospheres collide with the sound of Gisele Bundchen getting pummeled by Tom Brady. [The Big Lead]

Memo to Tyra Banks: We are done talking about the weight you’ve put on in the past couple of years. We did it for a day or two, got it out of our systems, and we’re ready to move on. We’d really appreciate it if you’d allow us to do that. Step away from the fat pictures, Tyra. Please. Love, The Blogosphere. [The Blemish]

Bill Gates can’t get away from Jon Stewart fast enough. [Cele|bitchy]