Everyone’s a famewhore. Despite the fact that nearly every single couple who films an MTV series about their relationship ends up divorced (I guess Ozzie and Sharon are still together, but I think he’s too high to notice), people are still standing in line to have their dirty laundry aired to the entire cable subscriber base. Bam Margera and new bride Missy Rothstein, who tied the knot in Philadelphia on Saturday, have allowed MTV’s cameras to follow them through each step of the wedding planning. The resultant series, Bam’s Unholy Union, began airing on MTV last week.
When Rothstein was asked about the MTV curse, she responded, ”We don’t live in Hollywood. It’s not two celebrities coming together, fighting over the spotlight. It’ll be a nice memory that, years from now, we can look back on, and we have the entire process documented.” Translation: “I wanna be on TV more than I want my marriage to work,” which is, probably, the sentiment that makes this curse less of a curse than the natural follow-on to that line of thinking.
Margera and Rothstein met in sixth grade, but didn’t start dating until two years ago, after Bam ended things with his psycho ex-fiancee, Jenn Rivell. Bam has also been linked with Jessica Simpson (during her married years, at that), and confessed the affair to Howard Stern.
Of course, no story about Bam Margera would be complete today without a brief reference to the fact that his uncle (and occasional Jackass co-star) Don Vito is currently scheduled to stand trial for feeling up some underage girls (and we’re talking age 12, not 17). Now that’s something we should have had on tape.
Since Lars and I have decided to play off one another’s topics today, I’m going with another Hayden Panettiere story.
Hayden ran into Evil Incarnate (aka Kristin Cavallari) while shopping on Publicity Blvd (aka Robertson). Hayden, for anyone who doesn’t know, is dating Stephen Cavallari, the not-that-hot cause of oh-so-much drama between Kristin and L.C. on
Laguna Beach. TMZ
has video.
What’s funny is that Hayden looks like the uncomfortable one here. Kristin probably saw Hayden and thought to herself, “Oh, shit, here’s someone who’s famous for actually doing something, and getting more famous for it every day. I should pretend like we’re best friends. People will take our picture and write about it. Then maybe I’ll stay famous for another week, even though I do nothing of any value ever.”
Meanwhile, little Hayden is all like, “Oh, so this is the crazy bitch Stephen’s always making fun of. What a fucking head case. I wish she’d go away.”
Ladies and gentlemen, Justin Timberlake is dating. Yes, that’s right, he’s dating. There is more than one woman in whom he is interested, and so he is spending time romantically with both of them. You’d think the media would be familiar with this concept, as they all watch Grey’s Anatomy, and Meredith laid the concept out pretty clearly a couple months back, but everyone still seems shocked. It’s not a committed relationship … but it’s not cheating … how do we frame this?
After frollicking around Sundance with Jessica Biel, JT was back in the arms of Scarlett Johansson in Miami. The two were spotted at a Super Bowl afterparty, where, according to witnesses, “they were talking, dancing, holding hands all night – it was very cozy. Then, as they left through the back, Justin was leaning against the wall and Scarlett came up, leaned into him and did a sexy, little dance, grinding into his body.”
I am really, really happy about this, mostly because Jessica Biel is certain to be really, really unhappy about this. I take great pleasure in the little things.
Well, Beet has wisely decided to go after big people in a major way this morning so I’m going to join the fray with this news: Anna Nicole and TrimSpa are being sued in a very classy manner. That was my pun for “class action”. Yeah, well, I hate me too. Anyhow the news is:
Anna Nicole Smith and TrimSpa Inc. have been sued in a class-action lawsuit alleging their marketing of a weight-loss pill is false or misleading.
Really? I have zero sympathy for you people. Isn’t taking diet pill advice from Anna Nicole like taking “How to get shot lessons” from Tupac? Clearly you’d want 50 Cent.
My point is Anna is a very big and cuckoo imbecile. Those who follow her advice deserve only ridicule and a discount on their next full frontal lobotomy.
The former
ANTM judge and owner of the
Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency weighs in on the “skinny model” debate:
“I’m dying to find kids who are too thin. I’ve got 42 models in my agency and I’m trying to get them to lose weight. In fact, I wish they’d come down with some anorexia.” When you laugh at such politically incorrect statements, Dickinson yells back, “I’m not kidding. I’m running into a bunch of fat-assed, lazy little bitches who don’t know how to do the stairs or get their butts into the gym … Models are supposed to be thin. They’re not supposed to eat. In fact, I’m not going to eat for the rest of the day because we had this conversation.”
As awful as it is, I often agree with Janice, and I’m glad they still make folks like her. I know, I know. I’m a horrible person, and I’ve come to terms with that, but has anyone else noticed that bigger models just don’t carry the clothes as well as the ultra-skinny ones? And I’m not talking plus-size models, I’m talking girls with, like, a BMI of 20. It just doesn’t look as hot as some BMI 17 chick waltzing down the catwalk. There’s a reason models are ridiculously thin! It looks glamorous and unattainable and otherworldly! It makes you want to buy the clothes! I don’t think ultra-thin is very sexy off the catwalk, but anyone who thinks an average normal-weight girl is going to sell a dress as well as a super-skinny girl is just fucking wrong. Sorry.
In closing, here’s a very funny sign someone
posted in front of CBS Studios (where Tyra Banks films her talk show). Let the hate mail roll in. Because if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that if anyone has more rabid fans than Justin Guarini, it’s Tyra.
My main illegal squeeze is catching some flack for this video. It’s for a DVD she did for Disney entitled Cinderella III: A Twist in Time. Some reasons you should still love her:
1. This had to have been pre Heroes and any actor would be a fool to turn down Disney cash.
2. She’s 17. Give me a break. What can we expect from a girl who still hasn’t gone to prom?
3. Even though this song is not something I would listen to, it’s Disney through and through, making her effective. And she’s still cute as a button. So enjoy.
(Note: They put an ad before the video, mine was the Goo Goo Dolls appearing on QVC which is VERY sad. Anyway, just do something else during the video. I suggest work. Then tune back in.)
(Note2: Aol seems to be failing at allowing me to embed this video because AOL sucks. Also it doesn’t work in Firefox. So the link is the only way to go at this point.)
Hayden Sings for Disney.
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