Victoria and David Beckham are upset that U.S. authorities have decided to bar eight of their longtime security guards from immigrating to the States with them. These employees do not qualify for U.S. work permits, because authorities believe U.S. citizens could reasonably do their jobs.

The Beckhams are upset about this, because their security team has been with them for years, and their sons reportedly look at them as uncles. Says a source, “It’s proving to be a massive headache because David and Victoria are comfortable and so happy with their current team.”

Certainly not a headache that $250 million can’t fix.

Elle MacPherson hasn’t gotten laid in two years. Cry me a river. [Cele|bitchy]

Hilary Duff releases the music video for “With Love.” [POTP]

Kim Kardashian pretends like her sex tape still matters to anyone. [The Blemish]

Fashion Week bravely trudges forward in the wake of such tragedy. [MollyGood]

Mary-Kate Olsen is that drunken slut you always kind of knew Michelle Tanner would grow up to be. [Celebslam]

Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong are probably bumping uglies again. [Celebrity Smack]

As of 10:30 PST, here’s what we have so far:

• Prescription drugs were found in Anna Nicole’s room. The pills were in Howard K. Smith’s name!
• A judge today refused emergency DNA testing to determine the paternity of Dannielynn, but ordered her remains preserved until a full hearing on February 20.
• It appears that Anna and Howard K. Stern were set to be legally married (their last marriage, it turns out, was not legally binding) in the Bahamas on February 23.
• The couple were both in Florida yesterday to buy a 39″ boat they planned to take back to the Bahamas.
• Anna Nicole’s mother, Vergie Smith, is headed out to the Bahamas right now to ask a Bahamian judge for legal custody of Dannielynn.
• Just in case you’re bored so far, Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband of twenty years, Prince Frederick von Anhalt, is now saying that he might be the father of Dannielynn.

I just finished watching two press conferences which I’m pretty sure had something to do with this whole Anna Nicole thing. As I understand it here’s where we stand:

Three jurisdictions are now involved. The request for Anna’s DNA was requested in California and has been denied (at least for now). Florida is where the autopsy is being held and they have taken control of Anna’s body until at least February 20th. The Bahamas are where little Dannielynn resides. So then, according to the California law they point to The Bahamas as the place the DNA injunction should have been filed.

Mr. Birkhead’s lawyer said she didn’t know if he was headed to the Bahamas as things are “up in the air.” Well, I can tell you if he IS headed there it’s probably going to be to get some sun because at this point he’s no more the father of that child than I am (and I’m not).

Want to learn some things about America’s Newest Porn star?
Here are are some fun facts about Kim Kardashian.

*She has been married before to Damon Thomas.

*She is of Armenian and Iranian decent.

*Of COURSE she has a MySpace. Of course it also has a large amount of sexually suggestive photos.

*She is related to Brody Jenner (ex boyfriend of essentially every “it” girl in Hollywood)

*To explain the above. Her step-dad is Olympic Games gold medalist Bruce Jenner. She has nine brothers and sisters: three full siblings, two half-sisters, three step-brothers, and one step-sister from Bruce Jenner.

*According to Wikipedia she has allegedly has plastic surgery on her cheeks, nose, eyes, butt and chest.

*Her dad was OJ’s bestie, Robert Kardashian who read the famous OJ “suicide” note when he was driving around LA in the white Bronco with Al Cowlings. He passed away in 2003.

*Her sister, Kourtney Kardashian was on “Filthy Rich Cattle Drive.” There also is another sister named Khloe…their mother is named Kris. You know…it might have been easier to use a “C” people. I really hate when parents go all wacky with kids names.

So there you go. In case you wondered you this girl is she is also likes famous socialites like herself, and whoring herself out on every red carpet there is. This sex tape is totally staged. Digital video isn’t that good and also it is shot way to well for it to be a real sex tape like Paris’s. I’m just waiting for the Nicole Richie sex tape. You know that she and Joel are planning it now for when their stars start to fade. Note to them, play music in the background…honestly these tapes are getting boring. I need a soundtrack.