Paris Hilton actually managed to get fired from her namesake Club Paris. Is there anything this girl can’t do? [The Blemish]

Pics from the Alpha Dog premiere’s after-party, with nary a Cameron Diaz in sight. [Monica Monroe]

K-Fed gets text-dissed by La Lohan. [The Superficial]

Britney Spears is back on the party scene, looking worse than I have ever, ever seen her look. The first pic is vaguely reminiscent of Rosie O’Donnell. [X17]

The “sole remaining” copy of the video of Steve Irwin’s death has been handed over to his widow. [Tabloid Whore]

Nicole Richie hires a shaman to rid her home of whatever “curse” triggered her string of bad luck in 2006. This shaman will, I assume, walk in, flush thirty-six baggies of coke down the toilet, and leave. [Junkiness]

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson’s publicity train makes a stop in Splitsville. [The Bosh]

Singer/model Tyrese allegedly punched his pregnant girlfriend in the stomach. [Gabsmash]

NEW YORK (AP) — Lindsay Lohan was to have surgery to remove her appendix, her publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, said Thursday. Zelnik said in an e-mail that the 20-year-old actress was “having her appendix removed. She is resting comfortably.”

Well, I hope our girl is feeling better and enjoying ice cream. That said, what kind of publicist needs three names? Thanks for the info Leslie Sloane Zelnik!

Courtney Love once again treats us to her own special brand of crazy, as she posted her New Year’s resolutions on her website, without thinking to run a spell-check (or a sanity-check) beforehand. The New York Daily News picked up these items as their favorites, but you can get the full list here.

* Have a happy satisfied child and family

* sell the pony get a new horse

* try this “thin” anthropoligical experiment — get to my goal weight healthily and stay there

* cahnt for the war in Iraq to cease asap

* chant for Hillary to win

* learn an asian language

* dont peek at tabloids and bad websites, as it absouloutly shatters the Law to make that cause agiants yourself.

* have fantastic sex with commitment and honour with someone whoo treats me as i deserve and dont give my power away

* DO NOT SLLOW MYSELF TO BE A DOORMAT INA RELATIONSHIP EVER EVER AGAIN

* hopefully start another family someday — soon. meet that guy

* know that Kurts spirit is tended to and tend to it daily

* LEARN TO DRIVE

* STOP SMOKING GO TO HYPNI THERAPY AND JUST DAMM WELL STOP

* another year, another year without even wine no matter how hard i try to justify that “wines okay” knw that is the demon voice and put it out of my thoughts

* dont go to nightclubs with 19 year olds

* stay pissed off at the world for song usage

* no more surgery for any reason other than medical until i really need it in my 60s

After dropping the f-bomb on national television, Vanessa Minnillo spends the next few hours getting utterly wasted and attempting to flash New York City. [Mollygood]

It’s been months (and about 20 pounds) since we’ve had a Lindsay-Lohan-in-bikini photo set. [Cele|bitchy]

Paris Hilton graces the folks at Pure with an impromptu performance of “Stars Are Blind.” Not blind enough, figures the audience, and someone pelts her in the eye with ice. [Yeeeah!]

There are three young women at a house party. One is passed out. Another is flashing her breast. And the last is biting the inner thigh of the one who’s half-naked. Guess which one is Mary-Kate Olsen. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Pam Anderson drunk-ass wasted in Vegas on New Years. [Celebrity Smack, more, even more]

Jessica Alba in a bikini. You’re welcome. [IBBB]

Lindsay Lohan and Wilmer Valderrama make nice. [Celebslam]

That elusive Ashlee Simpson nip slip has arrived. [The Blemish]

Fox execs announced today that this will be The OC‘s last season.

“This feels like the best time to bring the show to its close,” says Josh Schwartz, the show’s creator and exec producer, by which he means, “We should have canceled this show after the second season, but we’re going to do it now instead.”

This is sad for those of you who care about this show, and totally meaningless to me.