There. I said it. Admitting it is half the battle. I’m only sorry that it took me this long.
I don’t have it in me to write anything more interesting about it, really. Cameron looked like she just got done wrestling in the La Brea tar pits. Jennifer Aniston’s breasts finally emerged victorious in the tight race with her chin for the title of “Biggest Thing on Jennifer Aniston’s Body.” I want to put Hayden Panettiere in my pocket and have her with me all day long. I want to return her dress to the table at Pancho’s.
Full list of winners
here.
Great news for the eight of you who still secretly harbor that boyhood crush on Drew Barrymore. According to Us Weekly, the actress has called it quits with her boyfriend of five years, Fabrizio Moretti, the drummer for The Strokes.
According to sources, Drew, who is five years older than Moretti, “said they needed time off.†Moretti has reportedly moved back into his own apartment.
The two seemed like a good match, according to their friends. Says Barrymore pal Courtney Love, “Drew has always had a taste for subculture,†which doesn’t seem to mean anything at all in this context. In fact, the more I try to make it mean something in this context, the more my head hurts. Can we just get back to fabricating quotes that make sense, Us Weekly?
Oh, good. Here are some more quotes from “sources” regarding the split: “He’s younger, and she’s more worldly. He doesn’t like the Hollywood stuff. He doesn’t get her friends.â€
But don’t rev up those E.T. fantasies yet, boys. “This is exactly what happened last time they took a break,†says a source, from which we’re apparently supposed to infer that they might get back together. Because, you know, the last time they took a break, they totally took a break. Just like this time. See? Subculture. Continued the source, “Lemonade. Tattoo. Engine coolant,” from which it is clear that Drew just adopted a cat.
Man, this is a gem. Thanks to Defamer for catching it. It comes via Variety on the Town, the new blog from Variety. The setting is the God Grew Tired of Us premiere, a Brad Pitt-produced film about children who walk for five years to escape a war-torn Sudan.
The reporter poses this simple question to Pitt: “Is civil war still going on in the Sudan?”
Brad Pitt looked at me with something between dismay and horror. “Oh, come on. You’re smarter than that. It’s worse than ever.”
Googling proved he was right – I am smarter than that. The second Sudanese civil war (north vs. south) began in January 1983 and ended with the signing of a peace agreement in January 2005. Now Sudan must contend with the genocide in Darfur, located in westernmost Sudan, as well as war with the neighboring state of Chad.
Oh, man. Stay very still and quiet for a minute. Listen carefully. That sound you hear? Is the precious, joyful laughter of Jennifer Aniston.
Via
People:
Rocker Marilyn Manson is romantically involved with 19-year-old actress Evan Rachel Wood, sources close to the situation tell PEOPLE.
The sources say his relationship with the Thirteen actress was a factor in the Dec. 29 divorce filing by Dita Von Teese, 34, Manson’s wife of one year.
“Dita is heartbroken, she didn’t see this coming,” says a source close to the burlesque dancer and MAC cosmetics model. “His partying contributed to the split as well.”
Movie-goers will predominantly know Evan from the critically acclaimed Thirteen, although she also played Natalie Finch in Running with Scissors, and she stars in the upcoming King of California with Michael Douglas.
Here’s something from our sisters over at Page 6.
Quoth the Simon Cowell:
“Do I prefer Kelly Clarkson’s music to Bob Dylan’s? Yes. I’ve never bought a Dylan record. A singing poet? It just bores me to tears. I’ve got to tell you, if I had 10 Dylans in the final of ‘American Idol,’ we would not be getting 30 million viewers a week. I don’t believe the Bob Dylans of this world would make ‘American Idol’ a better show.”
Well I don’t either because Bob Dylan is a cool 65 years old. That’s even older than that Taylor guy who won last time. Also, anyone who likes Bob Dylan is probably pretty mellow. Not a lot of hopped up folk fans, so I’d say Cowell is going after a pretty soft target.
In fairness, Kelly Clarkson sucks pretty heavily sometimes too.
Memo to the Malibu Colony fire: if you have to go around destroying the homes of celebrities, could you think of someone a little more interesting than Suzanne Somers? [Celebrity Smack]
Paris Hilton made it nearly a week and a half into the new year before a nip slip. Someone should give her a cookie. [The Blemish]
Check out Kat McPhee’s first single, “Over It.” [popbytes]
Halle Berry sports a sexy gold number at the People’s Choice Awards. [Dirty Laundry]
Paris Hilton(‘s attorney) pleads not guilty to her September DUI. [Celeb Warship]
Jessica Alba wants you to think that she thinks it might bother the paparazzi if she takes pictures of them. But Jessica Alba knows that when she takes pictures of the paparazzi taking pictures of her and they get a picture of her taking pictures of them, that picture will sweep through the blogosphere aned she’ll get paid more per picture. It’s simple, really. [IBBB]
Hilary Swank gets her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. [Mollygood]
Claire Danes and Billy Crudup split. In related news: Claire Danes and Billy Crudup were dating. [Barbie Martini]
The worst films of 2006. [Pajiba]
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