I was just watching the video for Fall Out Boy’s “This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arm Race” (a song which I think rocks, btw), and I’d always kind of listened to it absently on the radio and figured it was about war or violence on the streets or something genuinely arms-related. After watching the video and reading the lyrics, it occurred to me that it’s probably a commentary on the Hollywood social scene and the way the celebutante wars are strategized (by the ‘tantes themselves) to play out in the tabloids and in the blogosphere. Lead singer Pete Wentz has a killer crow’s nest from which to watch this type of drama unfold, based on his relationship with Ashlee Simpson. I dunno, just thought I’d share.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuS71qH1k8E]

A MadTV parody via Best Week Ever.

Actor Sean Penn sent reporters scrambling for the least offensive way to convey the concept of “cum stain” during his acceptance speech for the 2006 Christopher Reeve First Amendment Award. Oh, and he also called for the impeachment of President Bush.

Said Penn: “Let’s put his administration under oath. And then if the crimes of treason, bribery or other high crimes and misdemeanors are proven, do as Article 2, Section 4 of the United States constitution provides, and remove the president, vice president, and … civil officers of the United States from office.”

He continued: “If we attempt to impeach for lying about a blow job, yet accept these almost certain abuses without challenge, we become a cum stain on the flag we wave.” [The entire speech is here.]

How’s that for effective use of imagery? My seventh-grade public speaking teacher would be so proud. Of course, these remarks are inflammatory and amusing and most definitely need to be written about in this pre-Christmas news slump, but how on earth do you print the word “cum stain” if you’re a major news agency catering in large part to red-state readers?

This is Fox News’s take on it: “If we attempt to impeach for lying about a [oral sex act], yet accept these almost certain abuses without challenge, we become a [human] stain on the flag we wave.”

Nice.

Ron Goldman’s family takes another stab at suing O.J. Simpson. Har har. [A Socialite's Life]

Kim Cattrall says the Sex and the City movie is back on. [Hollywood Backwash]

Mel Gibson learns he may have a 29-year-old daughter as the result of a one-night stand in the ’70s. Much to my chagrin, she’s not Jewish. [Defamer]

Britney Spears desperately needs PR representation to help her better craft her lies. [Cele|bitchy]

Joel Madden removes himself from Nicole Richie for long enough to help ex-girlfriend Hilary Duff drop the restraining order against her stalker. [Pop on the Pop]

Lindsay Lohan hopes your Christmas is adequite. [The Gilded Moose]

Pictures of Christina Aguilera trashed out of her head always have an endearing quality to them. Britney ought to take lessons. [Yeeeah!]

Miss USA will be keeping her crown and her swanky pad. Among the highlights of the press conference:

She says there are way too many allegations. She had a couple of nights where she drank. No comment on drug issue (YIKES).

Katie Blair “completely innocent” according to Tara (say it isn’t so).

She wouldn’t say she’s an alcoholic, that would be pushing the envelope. “We all have personal demons we have to face.” She will be drug tested, per The Donald. He also says “she’s not sure if she’s an alcoholic, which is never good.” Hmm, that seems to be in direct contradiction to her statement. Me thinks after a few more “meetings” with the Miss USA people she’ll be admitting she has a “problem.”

She will be headed to rehab right about now. If you want more opinion and info check out our brothers at TMZ.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0QvxRl29_w]

My apologies to those of you who can’t watch YouTube at work. But this is worth reposting. It appears to be a celeb gossip video blog called Twingasm, although I can’t find a link to it, and my (admittedly cursory) google searches have been fruitless. If anyone has more info on this, please let me know. I found it on MollyGood. It’s lol funny.