Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Dakota Fanning Vagina-Flashing Pool


Did anyone catch her on Regis and Kelly this morning? She’s still creepily well-spoken, but it’s a little less freaky now that she’s a pre-teen. It was just really, really unsettling when she was, like, 7, carrying herself with more poise and maturity than most of my coworkers (in fairness, I work in software).

In the sick, sick mind of a celebrity gossip blogger, I’m staring at my TV, trying to follow her captivating story about her recent orthodontist visit, and I’m just sitting there thinking “I cannot wait until this girl flashes her coochie.” Not in a because-I-plan-to-masturbate-to-it sort of way, just in a watching-gossip-history-unfold sort of way. I mean, she’s 12 years old now. By the time she’s 15 or so, she’ll probably be Paris Hilton’s BFF, because Lindsay Lohan was 15 when Paris adopted her (this is assuming Paris manages to not OD on cocaine or Valtex between now and then). Then will come the drunken nights at whatever the hot LA club is at that point (let’s call it “Phurie”), and the hordes of paparazzi, and the short skirts and the absence of underwear, and then the holy, holy grail: the Dakota Fanning Crotch Shot.

So I’m starting a pool. $5 gets you in. In what year will we get the elusive Dakota Fanning crotch shot?

a) She won’t hold out much longer: 2007
b) After she needs a bra: 2009
c) During the post-Oscar-win frenzy: 2011
d) At least wait until it’s not kiddie porn: 2012
e) You are a sick, sick woman. Dakota would never do that. She will be a virgin forever and will never drink or use drugs or fall into that Hollywood trap. Also, I’m her mother.

Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. If you’d like to play, email me at evilbeet@gmail.com with your guess, and I’ll tell you where to send the check.

43 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Get a life dude there are a lot of very talented young child artists that so fare is stating away frome the scanky side like paris hilton , lindsay lohan britney , and jamie lynn spears kary kate and ashley olsen and any other child star in that group . Alyson Stoner , Hilary Duff , Miley Cyrus Hailey’s younger sister Emily Osment Brenda Song just to name a few . In my book Dakota Fanning is just a very talented actress who will be on that list with those newer child stars who stay awy frome the old trashy style going around . I think you will defnatly see her more on that list with the newer child stars tahn the old trashy Hilton , Lohan , Olsen twins one .

  • Get a life dude there are a lot of very talented young child artists that so fare is stat ying away frome the scanky side like paris hilton , lindsay lohan britney , and jamie lynn spears Mary kate and ashley olsen and any other child star in that group . Alyson Stoner , Hilary Duff , Miley Cyrus Hailey’s younger sister Emily Osment Brenda Song just to name a few . In my book Dakota Fanning is just a very talented actress who will be on that list with those newer child stars who stay awy frome the old trashy style going around . I think you will defnatly see her more on that list with the newer child stars tahn the old trashy Hilton , Lohan , Olsen twins one .

  • I’m going to give you a few child strs names Daviegh Chase friends with Dakota Makenzie , and Alexa vega QuinnShephard Elle Fanning Liliana Mumy Alyson Sotner Hilary Duff Miley Cyrus Holliston Coleman Emma Watson Courtney Jines Annasophia Robb Eily Osment Mika Boorem Skye Bartusiake .Then throw in others like Brenda Song Thora Birch , and Mara Wilson with others . Most liekly these are child actors who are too young to be skanky or found the better path some are finding know , and peple would defend them if they got but in that class with the olsen twins lohan hilton ,and them . But I would tell you to shut up if yuo did or anyone who puts Dakota Fanning down saying she’ll be like lohan , and them because Dakota is more like thefirst group I said because she’s only thirteen , and is on the path with that first more classy group of child stars know even best friends with Daviegh . So in a way you are putting down someone who belongs in that newer more classy group of child starts when you put Dakota Fanning down lie this .

  • I’m going to give you a few child strs names Daviegh Chase friends with Dakota Makenzie , and Alexa vega QuinnShephard Elle Fanning Liliana Mumy Alyson Sotner Hilary Duff Miley Cyrus Holliston Coleman Emma Watson Courtney Jines Annasophia Robb Eily Osment Mika Boorem Skye Bartusiake .Then throw in others like Brenda Song Thora Birch , and Mara Wilson with others . Most liekly these are child actors who are too young to be skanky or found the better path some are finding know , and peple would defend them if they got but in that class with the olsen twins lohan hilton ,and them . But I would tell you to shut up if yuo did or anyone who puts Dakota Fanning down saying she’ll be like lohan , and them because Dakota is more like thefirst group I said because she’s only thirteen , and is on the path with that first more classy group of child stars know even best friends with Daviegh . So in a way you are putting down someone who belongs in that newer more classy group of child starts when you put Dakota Fanning down like this .

  • why are any of you so shock. I know I am not but no matter what why dont you just leave her alone and bitch about her mother where all the fucking blame should. Look at the past history with any of these young ladys you can always find a bitching mother trying to use their girls for the money reasons. It’s all bull. No matter if she goes the hoe way or not the bleam is on the mother.

  • fuck u david!i am going to kill your mama
    and cut her pussey for eating

    fuck u allfuck u david!i am going to kill your mama
    and cut her pussey for eating

    fuck u all

  • Stuff of this kind always sounds attractive, no matter what exactly is written. My friends and I always visit this page and write a lot of comments, because this type of news are amazing.

  • u no how old she is? looking 4 young type looking girls, gets me off thinking bout if they old enuff or if they did it b4

  • if u all thing that dakora fanning is a loser well thats your promblem u all sit her judgeing people u say you know but really come on if u knew them u know that there just human like u and me but really,Dakora fanning is becoming a superstar

  • I wish she was still ten, I want to feel her soft little lips on my dick and I want fuck her sweet young pussy.

  • Well well well… here we are November 2009… Dakota is on Jay Leno pitching her vampire movie with her perky little 15.5 yr old titties on high beam poking through her little gold satin strapless dress. It’s so easy to see the outline of her erect ariola…so enticing. Very very nice if I do say so myself.

  • I cant wait to see her pussy I am gonna pop that pussy so loud her tightness will be no match for the amount of semen i am going to pump into her! our child will be an even bigger star!

  • I would to put my hard cock in her pussy. Put so much semen in her mouth and ass too. Make her beg for more. Feel it baby cause my cock will rock your world

  • omfg. she is now 16 but still leave her. i know u all wanna fuck her lil pussy but SHUT THE FUCKN UP. god pedo’s r days. no 1 is havin dakota’s baby only if she is like 22 then fine but not yet… grrrrrrrrr. dakota fanning rocks.

  • ok it 2010 now and she is still haset gone down that road she is not going to do it like the cow fuckers lohan and fucking paris ugly as fuck. fust leave her alone god she is normal ok like everybody ells.

  • i think she is cause shes 15 now but i wouldnt be suprised if shes not and shes not gonna be a virgin forever guys

  • Dakota is to old. I want to fuck Chloe. I got a crush on her after I saw her in kickass. She was great in let me in too.

  • I can’t wait any longer to see that beaver. Gonna wank off to it all day long once it’s released.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.