CBS just sent out their press release from the taping of Letterman this afternoon (the actual interview will air on CBS tonight). Fresh from my inbox:

Richards was featured via satellite from Los Angeles during an interview with scheduled guest Jerry Seinfeld, who asked Richards, his former “Seinfeld” co-star, to appear on the CBS late night broadcast. The following is an excerpt from Richards’ interview:

Letterman: “Why don’t you explain exactly what happened for the folks who may not know.”

Richards: “I lost my temper on stage. I was at a comedy club trying to do my act and I got heckled and I took it badly and went into a rage and said some pretty nasty things to some Afro-Americans, a lot of trash talk, and uh…”

Letterman: “And you were actually being heckled or were they just talking and disturbing the act?”

Richards: “That was going on too.”

* * *

Richards: “…You know, I’m really busted up over this and I’m very, very sorry to those people in the audience, the blacks, the Hispanics, whites – everyone that was there that took the brunt of that anger and hate and rage and how it came through, and I’m concerned about more hate and more rage and more anger coming through, not just towards me but towards a black/white conflict. There’s a great deal of disturbance in this country and how black feel about what happened in Katrina, and, you know, many of the comics, many of performers are in Las Vegas and New Orleans trying to raise money for what happened there, and for this to happen, for me to be in a comedy club and flip out and say this crap, you know, I’m deeply, deeply sorry. And I’ll get to the force field of this hostility, why it’s there, why the rage is in any of us, why the trash takes place, whether or not it’s between me and a couple of hecklers in the audience or between this country and another nation, the rage – “

Letterman: “But Michael, let me interrupt here for a second and ask a question about had the people doing the heckling or the people who were not paying attention, had they been white or Caucasian or any other race, what would have been the nature of your response then?”

Richards: “It may have happened. It may have happened. You know, I’m a performer. I push the envelope, I work in a very uncontrolled manner onstage. I do a lot of free association, it’s spontaneous, I go into character. I don’t know, in view of the situation and the act going where it was going, I don’t know, the rage did go all over the place. It went to everybody in the room. But you can’t – you know it’s, I don’t – I know people could, blacks could feel – I’m not a racist, that’s what so insane about this, and yet it’s said, it comes through, it fires out of me and even now in the passion that’s here as I confront myself.”

Apparently taping just wrapped on tonight’s David Letterman, and Michael Richards made an appearance via satellite to apologize for the awful, racist remarks that had their webcast debut today.

A source at Defamer, who was at the taping, says “they got Michael Richards to be on the show via satellite. He apparently insists that he’s not racist, even though he kept referring to ‘Afro-Americans’ through the interview.”

Another source at TMZ says that Richards was near tears during the apology. Richards’ excuse is rumored to be “rage issues.” Uh-huh. That’s like saying your excuse is “actively hating black people.” Nice try, Mikey.

Richards appeared as a part of a previously-scheduled interview with Jerry Seinfeld.

Set your TiVos, kiddos!

Scarlett Johansson is currently in England filming The Other Boleyn Girl, but perhaps her thoughts should be focused on The Other Hartnett Girl. Scarlett’s boyfriend, Josh Hartnett, was recently spotted in Sydney having a seemingly romantic weekend with a woman who is definitely not Scarlett. When Josh and his girl were spotted at an airport, the actor told photogs to “get fucked.”

Rumors of trouble in the ScoJo/Hartnett paradise have been circulating for awhile. Scarlett is said to be unhappy with the fact that Josh is always away filming, and I think Josh is having some trouble coping with the fact that every man on the planet jacks off to his girlfriend. Remember, before Scarlett, Josh dated his high-school sweetheart, Ellen Fenster, until early 2004, way after he was already famous. So is it really a big surprise that he’s back to messing around with a no-name?

Every year I get sucked into the Oscar debate and every year I end up bitter. It’s not so much the idea of the Oscars that bothers me, it’s the execution. The awards are based solely on appearance and buzz, they have nothing to do with actually watching movies. Why? Because, by and large, the voters don’t watch the movies. Why not? Because they aren’t movie reviewers, they’re actors, writers, and directors, and they are busy pursuing their careers. Asking them to look at the 50 movies nominated would be like asking them to carve out a month of their time. It’s silly talk. So I don’t even blame the voters. Who do I blame? The system. There’s got to be a better way than this. Someone call Public Enemy.

Along comes this article in which USAToday takes an early look at the competition. I’m happy we’re taking an early look, I like looks, the only problem is that of the eleven films listed five of them don’t even merit a rental. Here are some quick hit thoughts for venting purposes:

Little Children: Not a good film. It’s a film that’s made for snobs, long and boring with no real point. It’s like they put it in an entertainment sucker-outer. No noms for you!

Flags of Our Fathers: Very poor. Long, boring, pointless, cliched, hackneyed, silly, infuriating. A good example of how to make a classically poor over sentimental monstrosity. I liked it otherwise.

Babel: Probably the worst film of the decade. This isn’t even a joke.

Volver: This film isn’t horrible, but it is being graded on a huge curve because it’s from Spain and in Spanish. Oscar will slot it into the best Foreign Film category and then quickly forget it.

Stranger Than Fiction: A very average effort. It’s a failed romantic comedy and a failed drama. Let’s not call it one of the five best in anything other than “Will Ferrell’s 2006 movies” (where it would rank 3rd).

Reading this back I’m not even sure why I’m so mad. I guess I just want my people to see good cinema. The good news is that article mentioned Dreamgirls too so there is officially a groundswell.

Rant over.

“If I Did It,” the book where OJ Simpson essentially confessed to the murders of his wife and Ronald Goldman has been cancelled. News Corp. today decided that not only was the book a bad idea, but also the two-part TV Special that was to air during sweeps before the Nov 30th publication of the book. Rupert Murdoch, News Corp Chairman, stated today,

“I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project. We are sorry for any pain that this has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson.”

Thankfully this mess has come to an end. I don’t know who OJ Simpson thinks he is but in no way is it a good idea to confess in a book and on televison to killing the mother of your children.

[Source]

Oh happy day. A Seinfeld alumnus is in the news again, and this time it’s not for a cancelled show. TMZ has a video and some lovely text about the guy who used to be Kramer going off, Wu-Tang style, on some hapless hecklers. Evidently the set wasn’t going well for Michael Richards because he had to fire back at the crowd with this doozy:

“Fifty years ago we’d have you upside down with a f***ing fork up your ass.”

This sentiment was launched at one of our African American brothers, though one has to question the historical validity of “forking.” I’ve never heard of such a practice. In the video someone can be heard saying “Oh my God” but it’s far too late by then. Your God will not save you from Cosmo Kramer you poor bastards.

This just goes back to my old adage, something momma taught me so many years ago “If you’re given crazy millions for a sitcom that’s gone, and then you’ve got about five more decades to bum around, you are in for one hell of a non-fun time.”

David Schwimmer, beware.