Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Ellen Pompeo Old, Engaged

According to Us Weekly, Ellen Pompeo, thirty-fucking-seven, recently got engaged to her boyfriend of three years, music producer Chris Ivery, 106. The couple met in a grocery store. I’m actually pretty sure they’ve been together way more than three years, but have been on-and-off for a lot of that time. I can’t imagine why. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s a gross-looking McFelon who she met while she was a waitress. Either way, I suppose we wish them luck. Or at least regular meals.

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