• Sofia Coppola’s job requires her to watch her cousin get nasty. Weird.

• Christina Aguilera takes a cue from Pink, pees wherever.

• This week’s Lindsay Lohan crotch shot. I’m pretty sure she’s not wearing underwear, but at least she remembered to wear cheesy black nylons.

• There’s no specific item to link to here, but if you’re not reading The Gilded Moose at least once a week, you’re not really living. I can’t stress this point enough.

• Even David Letterman can’t salvage a Nicky Hilton interview.

• VH1 takes on the daunting task of counting down the Dumbest Celebrity Quotes. From our darling drunkie, Tara Reid: “I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.”

Update: I just rewatched that Nicky Hilton interview, and I’ve decided people are being too hard on her for it. She carries herself extremely well and with a great deal of class. Her composure and refusal to tag along with Letterman on his dirt-fishing expedition don’t make her boring, just a more tolerable human being than her sister. We hate Paris for being unnecessarily obnoxious and stirring up drama in front of a national audience, and now we’re going to diss Nicky for doing the exact opposite? I may lose my official gossip blogger card for this, but I call bullshit. No, she’s not particularly funny (at least not on purpose), but she’s never claimed to be. You’re alright in my book tonight, Nicky.

I guess she’s not really a new artist, per se, but she’s new to me. Check out the video for “Goodnight and Go,” from her Speak for Yourself album. Thanks to Tiffy for the heads-up on her.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX68zORHyH0]

Not sure what made me think of this, but for some reason that god-awful Tori Amos Daily Show interview popped into my head today. I thought it might be on YouTube, and, sure enough, it was. Now, my friends will attest that I am a HUGE Toriphile, as well as a HUGE Stewartphile (there’s not really a cutesy name for Stewart fans…I guess we can just go with “Democrats”), so this interview was terribly disappointing for me, and really tested my allegiance to Tori. I still love her, though, so I’m throwing the “Sorta Fairytale” video on here, too.

Update: Am I absolutely crazy, or is the guy in this video Adrien Brody?

It’s Jessica Coen’s last day at Gawker, and out of a loyalty to someone I adored before I even knew her name (and who, to this day, has yet to reciprocate on either count), I just want to state for the record that I, too, think Star EIC Joe Dolce is a total douchebag.

Good luck at Vanity Fair, Jessica.

Oh, and I applied for your job. Put in a good word with Lockhart. :)

Tara Reid doesn’t seem to get it.

Tara, sweetheart: The boobs are not the problem. The alcohol is the problem.

Via Radar:

Tara Reid clearly likes the idea of her hard-partying days being behind her, but she looked pretty shit-faced two weekends ago at a wedding in Santa Barbara.

A fellow attendee claims Reid…began her drunken antics at the rehearsal dinner. “She was the definition of a trainwreck, loudly heckling the family and friends of the bride and groom during their speeches,” says the source. Worse yet, Reid wasn’t even invited: “One of the groom’s buddies brought the Reid-tard as his date without telling anyone,” says the spy. “If I were the groom, I’d beat the crap out of the guy.”

The following night, Reid appeared to be “blackout drunk before the reception even started.” But everything had a happy ending. Sort of: “the wedding itself was actually dreamy because Tara spent the night outside in the lobby, crying her drunk face off.”

Hey, Courtney Love, maybe you should add Tara to your chanting list. She can come right after horses.