Mindy Kaling from The Office, we thank you. We promise to learn how to pronounce your name. Later, though. [Best Week Ever]

• Ashton Kutcher is developing a candid-camera-style reality series for NBC based on the film The Wedding Crashers.
• Matt Stone has it on good authority that Saddam Hussein is being forced to watch South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut in prison. Hussein banned the movie in his own country in 1999 because it depicts him as the gay lover of Satan. Fussy, fussy.
• Maybe you should just stay at home and drink alone, Tara.

• Bridget Grish doesn’t care if you look at her tits. Her mySpace page? That’s different.
• George Clooney is rumored to be dating Ellen Barkin. If you don’t know who Ellen Barkin is, you’re in good company. She’s in Oceans 13 right now, and she’s credited in films going back to 1978 (which is approximately when I’d guess her IMDB photo was taken), but she’s essentially a no-name, and an aging one at that (birth date on IMDB: April 16, 1954). Could it be that George Clooney wants to build a true, lasting relationship with an emotional peer? Hmm. Nah. It’s a really clever PR stunt, though. Way more subtle than inventing a baby.
• James Lipton from Inside the Actors Studio recites lyrics to “K-Fed Freestyle” on Conan O’Brian. Then he takes a beer bong. Poorly. Like pre-frosh from Minnesota poorly. Thanks to Tiffany at PopCultureWhore for the link.

In case the Emmy results you care about do not completely overlap with the Emmy results that I care about, the LA Times has the budget to put together the whole list.

I’m a pretty happy Beet about all this; I am thrilled that The Office won; I’m always happy to see Jon Stewart do well; it’s good to see Mariska Hargitay recognized for holding her own against Chris Meloni all these years (I’m sorry but Kathryn Erbe may as well have been a Maltese in Vincent D’Onofrio’s Louis Vuitton); and as long as we’re lauding women here, how fabulous that the Seinfeld Curse was not only broken but spit and menstruated upon by Julia Louis-Dreyfus after all the men tried and failed; and Megan Mullally ought to be voted President of our country, but I guess an Emmy is an okay start.

The only thing I’m mildly annoyed with is the Blythe Danner win. I would have liked to see that go to Chandra Wilson or Sandra Oh, but Chandra will have other chances, I’m sure, and I suppose Sandra can cry herself to sleep clutching her Golden Globe.

Most importantly, Joan Rivers conducted her 1000th red carpet interview (with Debra Messing). Unfortunately, it aired on the TV Guide channel. I love Joan Rivers, and I’m bummed she’s not on E! anymore. Mostly, though, I’ll always pine for that one year long, long ago when they let Kathy Griffin do the red carpet interviews. She asked the kids from Arrested Development if they had any weed. It was probably the highlight of my life, and I pray each night that someone will give her a second chance.

This woman looks strangely like Teri Hatcher. Taking a cue from Ryan Seacrest, are we, Matty?

[ICYDK has more of this charade]

The eight of you who followed the plot of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest will be relieved to know the filming of the third edition is in full swing out here in Los Angeles. I’d typically make some reference now to the cliffhanger at the end of the last one, and how it will be duly resolved, but after the investment of three hours of my life that I will never get back, I have absolutely no idea what happened in that movie. There was a sword fight on some manner of wheel and a Johnny Depp character better suited to The Birdcage, but everything else went right past me. But since most of the known world saw it anyway, I can’t really blame Disney for trudging forward with another.

They’re filming the Black Pearl scenes right now off the coast of Palos Verdes (across from Joe’s Crab Shack for those of you who want to go a-stalkin’). A few of my more nautical cohorts went sailing out there this afternoon and sent me some photos of the crew setting up. They didn’t stick around for the actors to show, but they did get a shot of Depp’s yacht, which is where I imagine he meets up with Tim Burton for a little pitching and catching. If anyone’s got pics of filming with the actors, send ‘em to evilbeet@gmail.com, and I’ll give credit where credit is due.