Got a Tip? Help us Beet Off!

21Meet the (Ex) Barkers

To the utter surprise of absolutely no one, super-skinny mega-tattooed rockstar Travis Barker filed for divorce this morning from his wife of two years, the ever- heavier and less-employed former Miss USA/Playboy eagle-spreader Shanna Moakler (I know, I know, she just had a kid, leave her alone, but this isn’t fucking therapy, it’s a gossip blog, and the girl has been large lately, and you noticed, too).


To: Celebrity couples
From: The Evil Beet
Re: Tips for a successful marriage

Hey! Celebrity couples! A few pointers from your friend the EB:

1) Not everything has to be so extreme. When the theme of your wedding is Nightmare Before Christmas and then you go and name your daughter Alabama, you become irreconcilable even as caricatures. Where in there is a marriage supposed to fit?

2) Pass on the MTV series.

3) No, really, pass on the MTV series.

4) Other misguided labels for progeny: Sailor, Apple, Suri.

5) No, you can’t take the VH1 series either. If they have headquarters in Santa Monica, you probably shouldn’t let them film in your bedroom. (This is really a good rule of thumb for anyone trying to make it in Los Angeles.)

All my best,

Update: In sorta related news, Kristy Swanson admits she’s pregnant, which is really, really good, because last time I saw a picture of her I was like “holy sweet Jesus, when did Buffy get so fat??” Seriously, I have no idea what this Skating with Celebrities business is all about; Kristy Swanson will always be the one and only Buffy in my mind.

August 8, 2006 at 8:32 pm by Evil Beet

21 Responses to “Meet the (Ex) Barkers”

  1. wedding tips…

    The very first thing you must do is set …

  2. Abigail667 says:

    I just wanted to say that I found your site via Goolge and I am glad I did. Keep up the good work and I will make sure to bookmark you for when I have more free time away from the books. Thanks again!

  3. Isabella says:

    Thanks for sharing!

  4. That was stimulating . I like your finesse that you put into your post . Please do continue with more similar to this.

  5. Hey man I just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to write something worth my time to read. I am all over the internet and I see so much pointless content that is just written for the sake of putting something fresh on their site . It takes passion to make good stuff, thanks for caring.

  6. Weight Loss says:

    I couldn’t resist commenting. :)

  7. With all the doggone snow we have gotten recently I am stuck inside , fortunately there is the internet, thanks for giving me something to do. :)

  8. Madison667 says:

    Great site!Thanks for sharing!Good luck everyone!

  9. Lamictal….

    Lamictal withdrawl. Lamictal elevated alkaline phosphatase. Trileptal and lamictal. Lamictal multiple sclerosis. Lamotrigine lamictal for depression. Lamictal. Lamictal side effects. Lamictal and insomnia….

  10. Lamictal….

    Lamictal overdose. Lamictal withdrawal. Lamictal. Lamictal orange starter….

  11. Lunesta. says:


    Generic lunesta. Lunesta mail order. Lunesta side effects. Lunesta….

  12. @Markus I get your drift on where you were going there. I often think of my past and use it as a means to analyze where I am and where I want to get to. Where I struggel is balancing it all out. How do you guys balance things out?

  13. I will use your advice from now on. Jaap

  14. scholarships says:

    Thanks for the advice. Will put it to work. Tom

  15. Thanks a lot for this, I appreciate the info

  16. We’ll go over the downside in a minute (The situation isn’t hopeless).

  17. Hey man I just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to create something worth reading . I am all over the net and I see so much pointless content that is just created for the sake of putting something fresh on their site . It takes devotion to create good stuff, thanks for caring.

  18. My brother and I were just debating this very topic, he is continuously endeavouring to prove me wrong. Your current view on this is wonderful and just how I feel. I just sent my brother this site to demonstrate him your view. Right after overlooking your web site I added and will be returning to read your posts!

  19. Hey compañero, realmente tenido gusto este poste. Can’ t parece conseguirlo para dar formato a la derecha en Internet Explorer, se dobla todo para arriba, pero no trabaja muy bien en Firefox tan ninguna preocupación.

  20. Many of the points of this post are generally excellent however had me asking, did they truly imply that? One thing I have to mention is certainly your writing skills are very excellent and I will probably be returning back again for any brand-new post you come up with, you might have a brand new admirer. I book-marked your site for personal reference.

Leave a Reply

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.